Tips for Parents and Educators (From Author Julia Cook):
Peer Pressure is the influence that a peer group has over a person. This influence can change the person's attitudes, values, or behaviors to conform. It plays a big role in who you are, how you dress, how you act, etc. Peer pressure can occur at all ages, but as children grow older, the behaviors negatively affected by peer pressure become more risky. While positive encouragement is a good thing, negative peer pressure can cause many difficulties in your child's life.
- Talk with your child about making friendships. What are the qualities that a good friend should have? What do you admire most about your friends? How do your friends handle conflicts? how can you choose the best friends for you?
Discuss what peer pressure is and talk about what it look/sounds like:
Insults: Making a person feel bad for not doing something.
Rejection: Excluding a person because he/she chooses not to do something.
Reasoning: Giving reasons why a person should do something.
Unspoken Pressure: Seeing everyone else doing something or wearing something. Observe negative body language (eye rolling, etc.) when you don't conform to what others expect.
Talk about the cost of saying NO, and let your child know that you understand how difficult it can be. You may lose a friend, your social position, or something else that means alot to you. Tell your child stories about how you dealt with negative peer pressure effectively. Expressing genuine empathy will give your child strength and validate feelings.
Role-play different scenarios with your child so they can practice their responses to negative peer pressure, and practice their resisting skills.
Encourage your child to:
- Understand his/her own beliefs and values.
- Have self-confidence
- Choose his/her friends wisely
- Talk to a trusted adult if needed
- Not make excuses, instead practice saying exactly how he/she feels
- Practice coming up with reasons for getting out of tough situation
When resisting negative peer pressure, have your child:
1. Look at the person
2. Use a calm, assertive voice tone
3. State clearly that you do not want to engage in the inappropriate activity.
4. Suggest an alternative activity
5. If the person persists, continue to say, "NO".
6. If the peer will not accept your "NO" answer, ask him/her to leave or remove yourself from the situation.
*For more Parenting information please visit parenting.org from Boys Town.
